Rants from the Dugout

Can we forget the weekend?

05/25/2007

After playing 5 games in four days last week, the Hog Palace took the field again for a league double dip against Johnsen Trailer Sales. The weather had been raining all week, but go figure the Man upstairs overruled Mother Nature, and we were able to squeeze two in. Injuries were aplenty, and you could smell the BenGay from a country mile. I don't remember a time when I had so many requests to sit out in one night. We were down a few players, so resting someone wasn't a real problem. Barry was playing the part of Pete Haug's bitch running "errands" for him. I'm gonna have to check with Randy on this one, but "errands" sounds a lot like Rules of the Road, if you know what I mean. Thankfully, we were playing a team that has never even came close to beating us. So Let's Get It On!

We started in typical Hog Palace fashion by spotting these clowns an early 2 run lead. We would only get one back on an RBI single by ET. By the middle of the 2nd we had had enough of their crap. Three would come across in the 2nd on RBI singles by Mike and Donnie C. But there would be more, so much more. Donnie would lead off the third with a single to left that the blind third baseman would try to Ole'. After a walk to Anvil, ET would single in one. Love would plate two on a double to left center, that burned the cocky little punk that was cheating everyone. Chris would score on a clutch single to right center by Miffy. We plated one in the 4th on a single by the Anvil and would cool off in the 5th and 6th. It really didn't matter because Snake shut them down on the mound for an 11-4 victory. Snake played with the wind all game, curving pitches here, lofting them 17 feet there. Puddy in his hands.

After a quick juggle of the lineup and still no sign of Barry, we were ready to hit the sticks for game 2. We would score 2 early but again, spot them a 3-2 lead. It would end there. We putzed around until the 4th. We would score 4 runs, highlighted by a double by Snake and RBI singles by Jim and Tommy. Four more would score on 6 consecutive hits by the top of the order. In the 6th, the beating would turn savage. We would score 7 on a plethora of hits to various fields. The majority of hits all night were directed at the third baseman. He couldn't even field the dribblers hit in front of him. He looked like one of the challengers on American Gladiators having tennis balls shot at him at 100 mph. Donnie C shut them out the last two innings for an 11-5 win.

My first thought after the first two weeks was, Good God, when is it gonna warm up. I smell sunny skies in the future on Thursday when we take on the Thing and his group of roid heads. This game actually will mean something because we are the Kings at 4-0 and that whinny bitch's team is 3-1. So if you hear a loud crash on Thursday night at say 830ish, that is the thud of The Thing landing at 3-3. So bring the warm weather gear to McKinley West to see the Hog Palace move to 6-0 and increase their lead in the standings. See you at the yard, Meat!