Rants from the Dugout

The First Rant of the Year

4/6/2004

Well, the sun shining is longer, the weather is getting warmer and Mother Nature's annual deposit of snow is gone. This must only mean one thing......... BARNSTORMER SOFTBALL!! Your warriors in stone grey are geared up and ready for yet another assault on the North League Division Championship. It has been a few years since we have tasted the spoils of a League title, but I'm sure even porno stars go through droughts.

This years rant starts off where last years ended: Reino Fleck, public enemy #1. I am truly going to push for the resignation of this lazy bastard from Fargo Slowpitch Softball. This dumbass almost cost us even playing in league last year, and has been a no-show for league games and other functions. He told me this spring that, "It has been a busy winter for me, but now I've finally got it under control." Dude, you are so full of #$@%!!! This guy couldn't hit water if he fell out of a $%#@ing boat. I think I've picked on the old #$@%er long enough.

Next topic, I would like to now discuss the faces of Pete Haug's traveling fun show. This year is going to look an awful lot like last years team, because we are all coming back. I was fortunate to sign Brent, Slurvy, Miffy, Anvil, Sabe, Damon, Chaz, Jeff, Tombo, Comb-your-Nuts, Barry and E.T., to long term deals. Actually, I didn't, but what else are these people going to do this summer on a Thursday. Most of those people have been here since Day 1, and are the heart and soul of the team. Without them, we would all find out what there is to do on a Thursday night during summer. Besides, there are "2 or 3 potential all-stars in there." There you go Miffy, first quote of the season and it appropriately goes to Major League. Negotiations are ongoing, but for you nostalgia buffs, there may be a return from a couple of 'Stormers from the past in uniform this year. David and Snake are rumored to possibly be back where they belong, back with the funnest show on dirt with the rest of the clowns. Once a 'Stormer, always a 'Stormer. We obviously want them back and with God willing, will have them back with us between the chalk lines.

The teams' outlook for this year is questionable. In years past, we have practiced like #@$% and played well. And in other years, we have practiced like #@$% and played like #@$%. So only one thing can be counted on, we are going to practice like #@$%. If we manage to actually get everyone to practice and get a chance to shake the cobwebs loose, look out league because the beatins' are about to begin. The only strike against us is obvious, we sure as hell ain't getting any younger. I do believe we have what is in us to take at least one more league championship. Stayed tuned whether we do or don't.

That about covers the preview for the season. There will always be more from the bench during the year. Anyone who knows me knows I always have something to say. So to our fans, keep coming out to watch and we will keep doing what ever it is we do. Until next time, this is Donnie and I'll rant with you later. Don't forget to tip your waitresses on the way out, and the show at 9 is different than the show at 7.

Donnie